Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
