You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
