walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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