I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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