My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
ttyl tear gas
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
