she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
