I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
