He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
