did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
