how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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