new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
