Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
