i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
