lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
