Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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