Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
