Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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