why didn't you poke me back
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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