"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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