My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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