help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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