He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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