i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
