I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
