Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize