So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
