well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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