you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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