Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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