I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
