do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
