p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
