Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
