ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
