i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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