okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
