I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
