I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
