and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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