whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
