I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
