I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
