Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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