Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
