he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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