dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
