Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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