Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
