if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
