The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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